Infertility & Reproductive Trauma Therapy in Irvine and Orange County, CA
EMDR therapy for infertility, IVF grief, pregnancy loss, and reproductive trauma, with a PMH-C certified therapist who understands the full journey
What is reproductive/perinatal trauma?
Reproductive and perinatal trauma is trauma that is experienced while trying, during, and after becoming a parent. Examples include (but are not limited to):
An infertility diagnosis, infertility treatments, difficulty getting pregnant, or difficult IVF procedures
Difficult pregnancies, miscarriage, stillbirth, or other loss of pregnancy
Trauma throughout pregnancy, birth, or postpartum
Difficult or traumatic birth experience (examples include but not limited to: unplanned C-section, baby going to NICU, and lack of support or other complications during delivery and birth)
Postpartum depression, anxiety, and PTSD
These experiences often carry a deep, unspoken grief that isn't widely acknowledged, which can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection.
How does reproductive trauma affect your life?
Reproductive trauma can show up in ways that aren't always easy to connect to what you've been through. You might notice:
Anxiety that spikes around pregnancy announcements, baby showers, or certain times of the month
Difficulty trusting your body
A grief that comes in waves, sometimes without warning
Pulling away from relationships where others don't understand what you're carrying
Numbness or emotional distance as a way of protecting yourself
Intrusive memories or replaying moments from a loss, a procedure, or a difficult birth
Feeling like you should be "over it" by now, even when you're not
You may feel invisible in your pain, especially if those around you don't fully understand what you're carrying, or come from a culture where this kind of grief is rarely spoken about openly.
If any of this resonates, you don't have to keep carrying it alone. Here is how I can help
How I support you in therapy while going through infertility?
Having personally navigated infertility, I understand the emotional weight of this journey in a way that goes beyond clinical training. I am Perinatal Mental Health–Certified (PMH-C), a certified EMDR therapist, and as someone who holds a bicultural identity myself, I bring a particular attunement to the layers that can accompany this experience for those from immigrant and bicultural backgrounds. I offer a space where you can be seen, heard, and supported at your own pace.
Our work together is gentle and integrative, supporting both emotional processing and nervous system regulation. Together, we may:
Process distressing memories using EMDR therapy and somatic healing techniques
Reduce overwhelming feelings of guilt, grief, and self-blame that often arise during fertility challenges and pregnancy loss
Rebuild trust and safety in your body and internal experience
Develop tools to manage anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms
Prepare emotionally for future pregnancies, fertility treatments, or parenting transitions
Cultivate self-compassion and connection with your evolving identity
What is EMDR therapy for reproductive trauma and how can it help?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based therapy with strong research support for trauma, grief, and anxiety, all of which are central to the reproductive trauma experience.
Reproductive trauma often lives in the body as much as the mind. The anxiety of a two-week wait, the shock of a diagnosis, the sensory memories of a difficult birth, these experiences can become stuck in your nervous system in ways that talk therapy alone doesn't always reach. EMDR works directly with how these memories are stored, helping your brain reprocess painful experiences so they lose their emotional charge and no longer feel as overwhelming or present.
For infertility and reproductive trauma specifically, EMDR can help you:
Process the grief of failed cycles, pregnancy loss, or a birth that didn't go as planned
Reduce anxiety and hypervigilance that can accompany fertility treatment or pregnancy after loss
Release feelings of shame, guilt, or failure that are common but rarely spoken about
Rebuild a sense of safety and trust in your body
To learn more, visit my EMDR therapy page and EMDR intensives for birth trauma page
Failed IVF Cycles and Transfers
The emotional rollercoaster of IVF is real. The hope that builds through each cycle, and the grief that follows when it doesn't work, can be exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it.
Failed transfers and unsuccessful cycles are real losses. The disappointment, the grief, the uncertainty about how much further to go, these feelings can show up differently for everyone, and they can shift from one cycle to the next. Whatever you're carrying, it deserves space.
Therapy offers a space to put down that weight, grieve what didn't work, and find your footing again, whether you're deciding what comes next or simply needing somewhere to land.
Secondary Infertility
Secondary infertility is the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy after already having had a child. It is more common than many people realize, and yet it often goes unacknowledged because others may minimize the grief or expect gratitude for the child you already have.
Therapy can help you process the complex mix of emotions that come with secondary infertility, including grief, guilt, shame, and the particular isolation of feeling like your struggle doesn't count. Your experience is valid, and your grief deserves space regardless of how your family already looks.
Pregnancy after infertility and/or pregnancy loss
Pregnancy after infertility or loss can bring a complicated mix of feelings. Relief, joy, worry, and grief can all exist at the same time. You may find it hard to fully settle, or notice anxiety showing up alongside moments of hope.
Whatever you're experiencing, it makes sense given everything you've already been through.
Therapy can help you make sense of the complexity, manage anxiety if it's present, and find a way to be present with your pregnancy at your own pace
When the Path Forward Feels Uncertain
There may come a point in the reproductive journey where the next step isn't clear. Whether you're taking a break from treatment, weighing other paths like adoption or surrogacy, or sitting with deep uncertainty about what comes next, this in-between place can carry its own particular grief.
The loss of a specific vision for your family, even when other possibilities remain open, is real and worth tending to. Therapy offers a space to sit with that uncertainty, grieve what needs to be grieved, and find your footing as you figure out what feels right for you.
Frozen Embryo Decisions
Deciding what to do with remaining frozen embryos is something many people carry quietly, even long after completing their family. It can bring up a weight that is hard to explain to others. There is no easy answer, and there is no right one. Therapy offers a space to explore what this decision means to you, process the emotions it brings up, and come to a place of clarity at your own pace.
Partners Experiencing Infertility
Infertility affects partners too, even when their experience looks different from the outside. Partners often carry their own grief quietly, while also trying to show up as support for the person going through treatment. The isolation can be real, and so can the guilt. Guilt about not being able to fix it, about having different feelings, or about not knowing how to ask for support yourself. Therapy offers a space where your experience as a partner is seen, your grief is acknowledged, and you don't have to hold it alone.
Infertility, Reproductive Trauma, and the Bicultural/immigrant Experience
Navigating infertility or pregnancy loss is painful for anyone. If you come from an immigrant or bicultural background, the experience can feel layered in ways that are hard to name.
In many cultures, the expectation of becoming a parent is deeply woven into family identity, community, and your own sense of self. When that path is interrupted, the grief can feel layered in ways that aren't always easy to bring into words, or into a therapy space that doesn't hold your full context.
You may be the only one in your family who knows what IVF feels like. You may be navigating this alongside cultural expectations and family dynamics that make it harder to ask for support. You may have never worked with a therapist who could hold the full complexity of your experience.
As an immigrant and bicultural person myself, I approach this work with cultural attunement and genuine curiosity about your experience. You are welcome to bring all of yourself here, without explanation or justification.
Postpartum Anxiety and Depression
For many, the reproductive journey doesn't end at birth. Postpartum anxiety, depression, and PTSD can arise on their own, or alongside the weight of everything that came before, whether that's infertility, pregnancy loss, or a difficult birth experience. If you're struggling in the postpartum period, therapy can help you process what's lingering and find your way back to yourself. To learn more about how I support postpartum clients, visit my postpartum therapy page.
Who Can benefit from reproductive trauma therapy?
Individuals navigating infertility, IVF, or fertility treatments
Those processing failed cycles, failed transfers, or the cumulative grief of treatment
Parents coping with miscarriage, stillbirth, or pregnancy loss
Those navigating pregnancy after infertility or loss
Individuals facing uncertainty about the path forward
Those carrying the weight of frozen embryo decisions
Partners experiencing the grief and isolation of infertility
Those healing from traumatic birth experiences
Individuals from immigrant or bicultural backgrounds navigating reproductive trauma with added cultural complexity
Individuals struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or PTSD
How to get started Taking the first step can feel hard, especially when you're already carrying a lot. I offer a free consultation where we can talk about what you're going through, answer any questions you have, and see if we're a good fit. I see clients in person in Irvine and online throughout California.
FAQs: Infertility and Reproductive Trauma Therapy
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Reproductive trauma shares many features with other forms of trauma, including intrusive thoughts, anxiety, avoidance, and nervous system dysregulation. What makes it distinct is that it often unfolds over an extended period of time, sometimes years, with repeated cycles of hope and loss. Unlike a single traumatic event, reproductive trauma can be ongoing, layered, and cumulative.
It also carries a particular kind of invisibility. Because reproductive experiences are often private, and because the losses involved are not always recognized as losses by others, the grief can go unnamed and unsupported for a long time. This is part of what makes specialized therapy so important.
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Reproductive trauma shares many features with other forms of trauma, including intrusive thoughts, anxiety, avoidance, and nervous system dysregulation. What makes it distinct is that it often unfolds over an extended period of time, sometimes years, with repeated cycles of hope and loss. Unlike a single traumatic event, reproductive trauma can be ongoing, layered, and cumulative.
It also carries a particular kind of invisibility. Because reproductive experiences are often private, and because the losses involved are not always recognized as losses by others, the grief can go unnamed and unsupported for a long time. This is part of what makes specialized therapy so important
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Infertility grief and clinical depression can look similar and sometimes overlap, which is why it's important to work with a therapist who understands both. Infertility grief is a natural response to loss, uncertainty, and unmet hopes. It often moves in waves, tied to the cycle of treatment, milestones, or triggers like a pregnancy announcement. Clinical depression tends to be more pervasive, affecting your ability to function across most areas of life regardless of what's happening externally.
That said, prolonged infertility grief can develop into depression, and both deserve care and attention. Therapy can help you understand what you're experiencing and find the right support for where you are.
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Secondary infertility is the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy after already having had a child. It is more common than many people realize, and yet it often goes unacknowledged because others may minimize the grief or expect gratitude for the child you already have.
Therapy can help you process the complex mix of emotions that come with secondary infertility, including grief, guilt, shame, and the particular isolation of feeling like your struggle doesn't count. Your experience is valid, and your grief deserves space regardless of how your family already looks.
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Yes. EMDR is an evidence-based therapy with strong research support for trauma and grief, both of which are central to the infertility and birth trauma experience. It is particularly effective for experiences that feel stuck, that keep coming back in the form of flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or emotional reactivity, even when you feel like you "should" be over it by now.
What makes EMDR especially well suited for reproductive trauma is that it works at the level of the nervous system, not just the thinking mind. Many of the experiences associated with infertility and birth trauma live in the body, and EMDR helps the brain reprocess those memories so they lose their emotional charge over time
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Yes. Therapy during fertility treatment can help you manage the emotional toll, reduce anxiety, and feel more grounded throughout the process. It’s also a space where your grief, hope, and fears can be fully seen and supported. -
Yes. Grief from pregnancy loss doesn't follow a timeline, and for many people the impact of a miscarriage surfaces or deepens long after it happened. You may find that certain milestones, anniversaries, or life events bring it back in unexpected ways. Or you may have carried it quietly for years without ever having a space to fully process it.
It is never too late to tend to that grief. Therapy, and EMDR in particular, can be effective even when time has passed, because it works with how the memory is stored in the body and nervous system rather than just how long ago it occurred.
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Yes. Anxiety during pregnancy after infertility or loss is common and understandable response to everything you have already been through. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It is your nervous system responding to real experiences of loss and uncertainty.
Therapy during this time can help you manage anxiety as it arises, process unresolved grief from previous losses, and find ways to be present with your pregnancy even when fear makes that difficult. EMDR can also be helpful in addressing the specific memories or experiences that are contributing to your anxiety
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Yes. Partners are welcome to seek therapy individually. Infertility affects partners too, even when their experience looks different from the outside. Partners often carry their own grief, guilt, and isolation quietly, while also trying to show up as support for the person going through treatment.
Therapy offers a space where your experience as a partner is taken seriously and you don't have to hold it alone.
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Yes. I offer reproductive trauma therapy online for clients across California, as well as in person in Irvine and Orange County.